We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
