awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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