I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i out mim tonsoeep
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize