did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
