i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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