People in love make me want to vomit
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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