you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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