Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
