You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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