I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
