What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
