David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
