She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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