Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
