I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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