i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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