i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
