Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
