So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
