Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
