Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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