You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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