If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
