Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
id be glad to
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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