You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My feet surprised me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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