i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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