it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
