I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize