i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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