Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
