so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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