For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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