1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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