Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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