there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize