I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
