do herpes really smell.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize