Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Your tits are I can't wait for
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
