Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
