I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
