whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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