Dual....:-)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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