that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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