Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Quick, to the slutcave!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All the doctor said was why
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
