the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
