Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
