I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You ruined the universe
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
