Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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