he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize