Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year

(847): View more from Illinois

And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout

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(972): View more from Texas

I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

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(619): View more from California

Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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(406): View more from Montana

My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!

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