a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
