I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
