it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
