But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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