If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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