I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
