If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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