the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
