ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
