How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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