I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
