I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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