Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize