They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
